Rachelsnoveller

Okej nu är det så här att jag kommer få en utbytesstudent hit och jag kan inte sitta och skriva därför lägge rjag upp denna oneshot och sedan får vi se när jag skriver!

---

 

I was sixteen.

I had brown long hair.

I was Inlove.

His name was Harry.

He had curly hair and amazig green eyes.

He loved me too.

 

Harry and I went to the park one day.

we heard the birds sing.

the children laughed.

We were happy.

Then he came.

He hit me.

He broke me.

He called me things.

then just like that he disappeared.

Harry helped me.

Harry told me I was beautiful.

But he alway came back.

He hurted me more and more.

In the end Harry couldn't take it anymore.

Harry defended me.

Harry beat him.

But Harry got killed that night.

Harry got stabbed.

He bled to much and no one could save him.

Harry said with his last words that he loved me.

I loved Harry.

Now I don't know what to do.

He still comes over and hits me.

He came yesterday and I can't stand him.

Today I took my last breath.

I killed myself to be with Harry.

So now we can love each other forever.

just me and Harry.

Sam warily goes in through the front door of the house the Doctor had landed outside of, with the Doctor lagging a few seconds behind him. He didn’t bother to wait for him, instead going straight in. It doesn’t take long to find Cas, and when he does, he frowns, confused by the scenario. Why hadn’t Castiel just run, or at least smite the thing? Sam knew he was capable of that much. He could tell Cas had noticed him, but the trenchcoat-clad angel was still staring at the Weeping Angel, not blinking at all.*
Sam: What are you doing?
Castiel: The Doctor told me not to blink.
Sam: Cas, that was 24 hours ago. Sam sighs, looking behind him for a moment to see if the Doctor had caught up yet. He hadn’t. -probably fondling his TARDIS again, he was as bad as Dean with the Impala- Sam thought to himself.
Castiel: I know. *Says this in a matter of fact manner*
Sam: So…why not kill it?
Castiel: *looks confused* Because the Doctor said to not take my eyes off of it.
Sam: *resists smacking his forehead* And you always do what the Doctor says?
Castiel: That’s what the Viagra commercial said to do.

“Megi, please stop, please stop reading those.” I struggled to read the tweets through tears, until finally Louis pulled the phone away from me. “They mean nothing, absolutely nothing, forget about it all please?” What was I supposed to say, what could I say to him, a simple “ok” sufficed at the moment, but he didn’t look thrilled with my answer. How could I put stuff like that aside? I’d like to say words don’t hurt, but they do.

“Babe, would you like to come to the studio with me? It’ll only be for a little while and then we could go out for some lunch?” Louis was so kind to me and he was so gentle with my insecurities. It was hard for me to even understand how I bagged a lad like him. I wasn’t always like this either, I loved to hang out with my friends, and play football with the guys. Lately hateful sayings have been coming out of the woodwork, left and right taking slow hits to my self-esteem. “No, I’m alright.” I think I’m going to take a shower and clean up your mess, mister” I couldn’t help but laugh at his face. “My mess, my mess? Oh really well who had late night McDonalds hm?” I couldn’t contain my laughter shouting out, “you did you fool!” He pulled me into a tight embraced and placed his lips on my forehead. This was home for me, and there’s no place I’d rather be then here.  “I’ve got to go now love, I’m already going to be late. I love you, and please stay safe you klutz.” “Love you too boo-bear” I shot back with a wink and he was out the door.

Throwing up my hair in a messy bun after the shower and changing into one of Lou’s baggy sweatshirts was the most comfortable feeling ever. I really had nothing else to do after straightening up the flat. I grabbed my cell and layed on the couch occupying myself with twitter as usual. I thought, “I shouldn’t, Megi you’ll regret this” but I just had to. “Dumb whore doesn’t deserve him. She’s honestly ruining the band why won’t he just break up with her. I hate her. I hope Lou cheats on that skank.” Words tore through my brain and ripped my heart open and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I stood up off the couch and screamed. I just screamed at the top of my lungs and let it all out.

“He doesn’t deserve me” I let out in a faint whisper. “I’ve ruined everything.” Not sure what to do next or where to go, Louis answered it for me.

The door swung open and hit the wall with a crack. “What was that scream? Are you alright babe? Are you hurt?” Too many questions asked at once and I was at my breaking point, “I’m sorryLou.” He glanced over to the couch and saw the phone lying on the table vibrating, never ending, never stopping, just relentless. He came over and grabbed my shoulders a little more rough than usual and never lost contact with my eyes.

“Listen to me, right now, nothing else. Don’t count yourself out Megi and sell yourself short. You’re amazing. You’re everything to me and I wouldn’t change a thing about you. The way my sweatshirt hangs of your 5’3 body is probably the sexiest I’ve ever seen you. Things aren’t easy, they’re never going to be easy, but it’s worth it, you’re worth it. Someday I’m going to make you the happiest bride and we’re going to show them all. All of them that they didn’t matter because all that mattered was we had each other. That’s what’s important right now, I have you and you have me,forever.

I was breathless, speechless, and my face emotionless. I shrugged out of his grip and he looked quite upset at first as I started to walk away until he realized with a cheeky grin. I picked up my phone and walked to the trash and let it drop. It was a pivotal point in life for me. I wasn’t going to care what anyone else thought of me, just Lou because that’s all that mattered. Our happiness was the most important. There was actually nothing wrong with me, our love shined every day and people were just jealous. And you know what people say, “People throw rocks at things that shine.”

 

---

kapitel kommer i morgon och denna är skriven av denna tjej :)

READ AND LISTEN

 

All I know is that you’re so nice
You’re the nicest thing I’ve seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something

Bringing the mug to my lips, I let my gaze wander around the pub; only to settle on himas he walked through the door. Ruffling his fingers through his hair to get rid of the snowflakes that had landed there, he started un-twirling his scarf from around his neck. That’s when he spotted me…  I mean us. I could feel the burning of his deep blue eyes from across the room, the way his pink lips curved up into one of his gorgeous smiles.
His feet started moving, quickly walking in our direction; but to me, it felt like slow-motion. His undeniable beauty got me everytime; he was possibly the nicest thing I had ever seen in my entire life.

”Hey guys!” His voice was as chirpy as always, unzipping his coat, he hung it over the back of his chair before flinging himself onto it. The group of us chimed a “Hey Lou.” in response. His cheeks and nose were rosy from the cold temperatures outside, his hair messier than usual. “God, it’s freezing outside.”, Louis said as he gave the bartender a signal; his beer arriving in less than a minute.

Whatever I did, I couldn’t take my eyes off him; my cheeks flushing and eyes twitching in nervousness as we made the first eyecontact of the evening. His left eye dropped to a subtle wink, his left mouthend curling up to another one of his breathtaking smiles. Returning the smile, I quickly dropped my gaze from him to the glass that was now so tightly squeezed in between my hands.

Conversation started to flow, as did the drinks. One beer after the other, shot after shot; and soon, the words started to become slurrs.
”Oi, check that girl out.”, I heard James whisper to Louis; my entire body tensing up as they tilted their heads to the left. A tall blonde was stood at the bar; huge tits, round ass and a short skirt. Seriously?

I wish I was your favourite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you were in the world
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style

”Not bad, bro.”, Louis retiliated, before reaching his hand up for a high-five. “Nice skirt she’s wearing, eh?”, James chuckled, his face screwed up in a disgusting and almost perverted way. “It’s a bit short..”, I murmured.
”Your point, Carla?” I rolled my eyes as they both sniggered, feeling somewhat disappointed by their totally typical manliness. If it really were girls like those he fancied, all my hopes and dreams of maybe, one day, becoming his girl, would be shattered. Me, with my brown hair and brown eyes; nothing special, nothing remarkable. Just your normal, ordinary girl.

Feeling a slight nudge on my shin, I jumped; looking up, I saw Louis mouthing a “Just kidding.” from across the table. The heat returned in my cheeks in an instant, a grin, I couldn’t hold back even if I wanted to, arising on my face. Nodding, I bit my bottom lip; his sight mesmerizing me even after all this time.

~

It was in the middle of the night, almost morning when we got kicked out of the pub; the reason why being they were closing. Giggling and chuckling we stumbled outside; the freezing air hitting us like a brick wall. “Fuck!”, Louis shouted as the door closed behind us, “Why the fuck is it this cold!?” I couldn’t help but let out a huge laugh, “It’s the middle of January, Louis!”

My cackling continued as I slipped my gloves on, tightening the wrap of my scarf. Even though I was probably the only one of us that could genuinely say they weren’t completely hammered, walking in a straight line still was a challenge; the continuous spinning of the world around me slightly irritating. The sudden grip of an arm round my waist, along with the sudden push, sent me flying onto the floor; the layers of snow softening my fall.

”What the f-”, I started shouting, but as I opened my eyes, I was shut up by Louis’ face so scaringly close to mine; his hot, alcohol tainted breath showing in the cold air as it hit my face. “Were you laughing at me?”, he asked, arching an eyebrow. “Yes..yes I was.” Pouting my lips, I gave him a challenging smile. It was then I realized this was only the second time we’d ever been this close, even after those two years of knowing each other and being friends; and after two years of being in love with him. 
He reciprocated my smile, keeping his eyes locked on mine.

We’d met at Uni through some friends, his beautiful being fascinating me from the very second I’d saw him. And as we got to know one another better, the fascination increased; his personality just as beautiful as his looks. There really was not a single person in this world that could’ve blamed me for falling for him.

~

The buzzing sound of my phone was what woke me up the following morning; even just this silent tone making my head pound. Murmuring a few cursewords under my breath, I propped myself up on my elbows. Fluttering my eyes a few times, I just couldn’t manage to open them; reaching my arm out to my bedside table. But what I felt under my palms wasn’t wood; it was skin. 

My eyes shot open at the feeling, pure shock written across my face; the horror increasing as I noticed it was Louis. Shirtless. In his boxers. In my bed.
Even though this was what I’d dreamt of a few thousand times, I felt scared that something might’ve happened last night; something that I just couldn’t remember. 

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot 
That you loved secretly
‘Cause it was on a hidden bit 
That nobody else could see

Even though I was surprised, schocked and all kinds of emotions at once, I couldn’t help but notice a little dark spot just below his chest. Squinting my eyes, I tried to get a closer look; noticing it was almost shaped like a heart.

Louis stirred, before his eyes opened slowly; blinking a few times, it took him a few moments before he fully glanced at me. His deeply aquatic eyes widened, a frown on his sleepy, yet gorgeous face. Looking from my face to my hand on his chest, an amused, lopsided smile arose on his face. Arching an eyebrow his eyes locked back with mine; snitching my hand away from him, I got up from the bed.

”Nothing happened last night, right?”, I asked with my back to him. I glanced down at my body, which was only covered with what looked like Louis’ shirt from last night. Squinting my eyes shut, I brought my index fingers to my temples, rubbing circles.
”I don’t think so..”, Louis started, his voice deeper than usual, thick with sleep. “But to be honest, I can’t really remember.”

Hearing him get up from the bed, I pulled the hem of my shirt further down. I felt his hand on my shoulder; twitching at first, I tilted my head round to him. “I’m sure nothing did.”
Gulping, I breathed in deeply; nodding as I watched his gaze flicker all over my face. “Coffee?”, he asked with a slight smile. 

I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars
Actually I meant three

Following him into my kitchen, which he knew his way round like it was his own, he started making us some coffee. I just sat there; legs crossed, hair messy, head pounding, mind confused.
Placing the mug in front of me, he asked me how many sugars I’d like; telling him I wanted two to not to sound like a complete fatty, he tossed them into the glass. And one second later, a third one followed. Glancing up at him, he only winked; my cheeks flushing as he seemed to have read my mind.

~

I wish that without me your heart would break
Yeah, I wish that without me you’d be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn’t eat
Yeah. I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

”Alright, I’m off.”, Louis said as he slipped into his coat, twirling his scarf round his neck. Even though we’d talked about last night, he still seemed to have sensed my uneasiness.
”Look, Carl’.” I glanced at him. “I’m sure nothing happened last night. We were both pretty drunk and I guess you just let me sleep over.” Sighing, I nodded. “It’s all good.”
Faking a smile, I opened the door for him; he waved slightly before stepping out into the cold.

Basically, I wish that you loved me

Shutting the door behind me, I rested my forehead onto it; letting out a frustrated grunt as I cursed myself for drinking too much. For being in love with Louis even though it probably would never lead anywhere. For constantly wishing and dreaming for things to happen, when clearly, they never would. And even if it had happened last night, I wouldn’t even know it; I wouldn’t remember it. 

The sudden sound of the doorbell shook me from my trip into my own mind. Confused and unknowingly, I opened the door; frowning as to who was stood before me. “Did you forget someth-”, I started, but was cut off. And even though it threw me off at that moment, I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

Louis’ lips came crushing down on mine all of a sudden, his strong arms wrapping around me. The cold from outside and his face made the goosebumps arise on my body as it felt like my knees would be giving away any second. I wanted to move, to do something, anything, but I couldn’t. I just let him kiss me, try to savour this moment as best as I could.

I rung for air as our mouths parted, my eyes clenched shut as my head spun. “I lied.”, he said; his burning stare forcing me to look at him. “Nothing’s good. Do you have any idea how much I wish something happened between us last night?”

I froze. What?

”All I do is think about you. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t do anything without you in the back of my mind; you’re fucking everywhere.” He sounded almost angry as the words spilled from his mouth like a waterfall. I tried to listen as carefully as I could, to catch every word.

”I’m in love with you, Carla.”

All I know is that
You’re the nicest thing I’ve ever seen
And I wish we could see if we could be something
Yeah, I wish we could see if we could be something

---

Writen by this awesome girl!

 

---

Denna underbara novell har skrivits av denna tjej

sorry sorry att jag inte skrivit något men jag tänkte sitta imorgon kväll och skriva det sista kapitlet som kommer bli ganska långt och antagligen i två delar tror jag... sedan kommer en ny supernatural novell komma ut men jag tror att jag blandar in lite teen wolf i det :) aja här kommer en engelsk novell från denna härliga tjej

---

 

Listen to the song and read.

“If you have any last words, say them to the person that matters most.”

I’d always tell anyone who was willing to listen to me that, and nobody’s more willing to listen than your best friend…right? And when that one,important person in your life disappears…it hurts. Right? Yeah. It does. Especially when it’s your fault they’re gone to begin with.

Everyone says it isn’t my fault Niall Horan committed suicide, that it was his choice, but I should have been there to make him feel less alone, less terrified, less like the only choice he had left was to overdose on the pills in his bathroom cabinet.

Truth be told, I don’t think I’ll ever forget the day I-no, we-all found out. I haven’t even touched the book I was reading when the boys came to break the news since. Liam’s words won’t even leave my head. “He’s gone.”

My not-wanting-to-accept-reality response. “Who?”

His apologetic frown and the, “Niall is.” that sent me into hysterics.

“What? Tell me you’re joking. Right now! You can’t be serious! No!”Screeches and sobs that controlled me for…how long? A few minutes? An hour? More? Less? echoed throughout the empty-except-for-us house.

I remember calming down, being led to the couch, being given a DVD with a yellow sticky note carelessly slapped on. This’ll be my note.

“Wha-what’s this?” I asked Liam, looking up at him with watery, red eyes. It was like the apologetic expression he wore was permanent.

“I’m sorry,”  he told me for the umpteenth time. I knew perfectly well that the DVD in my hands was. Niall’s suicide note— or at least, a replacement for one. I can barely recall putting it in the player, turning the TV on…

All I remember is shaking so badly, running out of tears to cry before I’d finished my pathetic little sob session.

I clutched the necklace I was wearing like a lifeline when he came on the screen, sitting on his bed, looking more worn-out and exhausted than I’d ever seen him. He looked so tired…of living.

“Oh, God, where do I start…” he mumbled to himself for a little while, running his hands through his bleached hair. “I want to apologise for what I’m about to do. I know it’s going to hurt each and every one of you, but…I just can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry. Nobody cares enough. I’m sick of it. I’m so sick and tired of being so alone, so afraid all of the time. I just want it all to stop…” He was on the verge of tears at this point. He looked over at someplace offscreen, leaned over to it to grab something. A bottle of little white pills. He laughed emotionlessly, bringing a fist to his dry, cracked lips to keep from sobbing instead, choking them back. “Look,” he said, showing the camera the label. His smile was wobbly, his eyes heartsick, unhappy, depressed. “Freedom…”

Then he stopped talking for a little while, just stared at the camera. “A friend of mine once told me almost every day that your last words should be spoken to the person that matters most…she knows who she is. I want to apologise specifically to her. I want to tell her that the last thing I want to do is hurt her in any way, and that I appreciate her trying to save me, but it just wasn’t enough…I-I love all of you…I’m so, incredibly sorry.”

And with that, the screen cut to black. I felt numb inside. Empty. Void of anything but a statement that got louder and louder with every passing second:

It’s your fault.

It’s your fault.

IT’S YOUR FAULT.

An hour ago, I came back from the funeral. I don’t remember a single word of it. I couldn’t bring myself to speak a word to anybody. Nobody, not the boys, not his family, not his school friends…nobody deserved pity from the girl who was the reason for his death.

It’s been a week. Seven whole days. It’s seemed like an eternity.

I understand what he meant now, when he said he wanted everything to stop. Cease. Halt. Whatever you want to call it, I want to have it. I want the guilt to end. I know the only way that’s possible. So I march myself upstairs with barely a word to my parents, and pull out an old and dusty jump rope from my closet.

I tie the necessary knot.

I set the noose up in the corner.

I drag the chair from my desk over to that same corner.

I slide my head into the hole and whisper something to nobody.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”

I kick the chair out from underneath me.

This awesome and wonderful story has my bestfriend written. You can find her tumblr -here- and I hope you really like this oneshot cause I'm crazy about it!

---

 

“Enough is enough!” Beanca snapped. “Enough of your stupid explanations!” she screamed at the top of her voice. “Beanca why don’t you trust me?! Why do you always suspect me?! Every girl I’m hanging out with is not my afair! Andrea is just a friend of mine! Why does that not get into your fucking brain?!” Harry punched his fist onto the wall with so much anger. “Oh! So are you trying to say my eyes lie?! If you ain’t having an afair with Andrea then why the hell did you give her a passionate kiss in the rain?! Do you think I’m hell lot of a blind?!” Beanca was so angry that her veins were popping out of her neck. Harry was in lost of words. He realized that Beanca have seen everything and now he simply can’t convince her that she was wrong. Realizing that he is in a great trouble, his hands started shivering and his heart was beating rather wildly. However, Harry calmed  himself and walked closer to Beanca  grabbing her shoulders lightly. “I’m sorry Beanca,” his voice softer than before. Beanca quickly shrugged her shoulders off his hands and screamed, “SHUT UP!” Beanca was so angry and at the same time disappointed with Harry. She felt a stab in her heart every time she realized Harry, the man she loves the most, betrayed her. Beanca knelt down on her knees and buried her face into her palms. Tears were streaming down her face more than usual. As each drop of tears fell from Beanca’s eyes, Harry’s guilt pricked him badly. Harry was in dilemma. He was stuck in between the choice of consoling her and living her alone. In the end, he made up his mind and walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him. 

Harry boarded his car and drove straight to the nearest pub. Harry was experiencing mixed feelings within him and he felt that the only way to care less is by gulping pints down his throat. However, each pint he gulped felt more like an oil that caused the fire within him to burn more furiously. Nothing seemed to make him feel better. Even the pints failed on him. With utter disappointment, Harry took the money from his back pocket and threw it on the bartenders’ face. Regardless of gulping down 10 pints into his stomach, he was still walking steadily. 

It was an hour since Harry left the house and Beanca’s eyes were still full of tears. The more she thought about Harry, the more pain and tears streamed down her face. Those tears never seemed to dry up. All of a sudden, an idea flashed in her brain like a lightning. She immediately wiped her tears and strode to the kitchen. With so much frustration, she pushed down all the things on the dining table. In the midst of venting her frustration, she felt a pen knife on the desk. She took the pen knife with her bare hands and stared at it for a very long time. She slowly brought the pen knife to her wrist and slit it letting out blood and agony to drip on the floor.

Harry made his way into his car and locked all the doors. He lied his head gently on the front seat and tried to stop his mind from thinking too much. However, the utter silence in the car made his mind voice increase it’s volume to the maximum. The noise was so frustrating to Harry that he decided to blast his iPhone. When he was about to pick up his phone, he received a phone call. It was from Beanca’s sister, Ariana. Harry rejected her call, as for now all he wanted was some peace of mind. Ariana realized that Harry was rejecting her calls and therefore, she sent him a text message. His phone vibration made his hands to vibrate causing him to be more alert. He swiped his phone to unlock and read the message he received. “Harry, please don’t avoid this message! Beanca cut her wrist and she’s unconscious! I don’t know what to do and you need to come quick!” Upon reading the message, his mind went all blank. Drops of sweat formed on his forehead due to immense nervousness.  Without delaying any further, he quickly started his car and drove to Beanca’s house. 

“Ariana open the door it’s me, Harry!” Harry banged onto the door impatiently. Ariana rushed to the door and opened it, allowing Harry to enter. Harry’s eyes searched for Beanca frantically. The moment his eyes spotted her, Harry rushed to Beanca. “Beanca wake up. This is me Harry. I’m sorry for everything I did. Please wake up Beanca! Please!” Harry tried his best to wake Beanca up by pushing her shoulders back and forth. So much of blood had dripped on the floor and it was making Harry dizzy. Yet, Harry didn’t give up. He slowly brought his fingers near her nose to check if she was breathing. However, his heart sunk at the feel of no air from her nose. He quickly lied his ears on her chest to hear her heart beat but there was no beat either. Tears were flowing down his eyes unknowingly. “Beanca wake up! Beanca! Beanca! Beancaaaaaa!!” Harry screamed in pain.

‘I wanna stay up all night and do it all with youuuuuuu!’ rang Harry’s alarm waking him up from his deep slumber. Harry quickly woke up from his dream with his eyes all teary. His heart was beating wildly and he was breathing too quickly. Harry pinched himself to see if he was in reality. Yet, it wasn’t convincing enough. He quickly grabbed his phone and punched Beanca’s number. “Hello. Harry is that you?” Beanca’s sweet voice calmed Harry massively. Harry let a sigh of relief that was loud enough for Beanca to hear at the other end of the receiver. “Harry are you alright?” her voice was filled with worry. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I just felt like hearing your voice so I called. Baby girl….. can we meet up for dinner tonight?” asked Harry. “Sure. You choose the venue and call me so that we can meet up?” Beanca agreed to his dinner date. “How about you come to my home instead?” Harry tried convincing Beanca. “That’ll be good.” agreed Beanca and cut the call. Harry lied his right palm on his chest and let a sigh of relief, “Thank god, it was just a dream!”

Since Harry’s family was out to town, he was alone at home. Therefore, he decided to have candle light dinner with his beloved Beanca, at his house itself. As excitement possessed his body, he quickly dressed up in his formal wear. He was wearing a blue blazer on top of his plain white tee shirt. To match the blazers, Harry wore a blue skinny jeans with a pair of brown boots. To look smarter, he wore a black bow tie around his neck. His hair was nicely made showing his curls vividly. As he did his final touch up, the door bell rang. He quickly grabbed the bouquet of flowers on the dining table and ran towards the door. Harry inhaled a deep breathe and opened the door. Harry couldn’t believe his own eyes. He froze at the sight of the stunning Beanca. She wore a blue floral dress that made her look like a princess and her hair was bund neatly, allowing strands of curls to fall by her soft, baby cheeks. As much as Harry was mesmerized, he was unable to take his eyes off her. “Harry, can I come in?” Beanca’s voice made Harry come back to reality. “Yeah sure,” he welcomed her home with a bouquet. He held her hands and lead the way to the dining table. 

As Beanca gobbled down her food, she started the conversation, “What’s the reason behind this special dinner? Why were you so panicked when you called me?” “Well…umm….basically…I had a nightmare. I had those kind of nightmare where you die. I was traumatized by it and felt the need to meet you.” said Harry clearing his throat. Beanca opened and closed her mouth like a goldfish, trying to say something but she was clueless on what to reply him. Therefore, she continued eating. An awkward silence filled the entire dining room.

Dinner was finally done and Harry and Beanca were chilling at the living room watching television. Harry leaned forward to take the remote control and switched off the television. He then faced Beanca and took a deep breathe before starting his speech, “Beanca, I just want to tell you that I love you to bits. I love you more than anything and anyone in this world. I-” paused Harry to find the right words to say. He then cupped Beanca’s cheeks with his bare hands and continued, “I just want to live my entire life with you. I want to marry you. I want to make beautiful babies with you and all the more, I just want a peaceful death in your arms. I simply can’t imagine a life without you Beanca. I know I’ve erred so many times. Yet, you’ve forgiven me all the time. I’m the most luckiest man in the world Beanca. I’m really so lucky to get you. I..I just want you for all my life baby,” a huge lump was forming in his throat making it difficult for him to continue. Beanca was at the verge of her tears. She was dumbfounded and at the same time clueless why Harry was saying all of this. Harry’s heart sunk at the sight of Beanca’s teary eyes. He gently hugged her allowing her to cry on his shoulder. Beanca looked up to face Harry directly. Harry looked straight into Beanca’s soul. He gently tugged a strand of hair behind her ears and wiped her tears with his fingers. Harry’s eyes moved down to look at her lips. They slowly moved closer to each other, allowing their lips to lie on one another. Harry gave her very passionate kiss. As one hand of Harry grabbed Beanca’s hair, the other hand of Harry grabbed her waist. His fingers played drums on her waist and they slowly made their way up to her chest. Beanca slowly moved her lips to his ears and whispered, “I love you curly hair.”

Nästa kapitel kommer imorgon jag lovar!♥ men nu får ni en oneshot skriven av denna underbara person

---

Press play and read this.

I had always dreamed that I would fly. That I would soar into wherever I was meant to be. That I would make a change in the world. Something along those lines, you know?

But then I met Harry and everything changed. I met the one boy who now means the world to me. Who knows if we were meant to be or if it was just an accident? Who knows anything these days? But he made me happy and he still does. He meant the world to me and I couldn’t live without him. Now life was being unfair, like it always was and they took Harry away from me. It wasn’t just short term, like when he left on tour. It was long; he was gone forever. I couldn’t do anything to help his journey away. I loved him so much and I wanted to be there for him, but I couldn’t. I know I’m being selfish, but life was taking him away from me. It’s the only argument I have, but he really did mean the world to me. I miss him in every way, the way he pulled my hair back when it was all over my face or the way he touched me passionately, yet gently because he didn’t ever want to cause me pain. His smoldering voice in the morning, or the way I caught him staring at me sometimes and admiring me. Everything he did, I knew he cared for me, every fight we had he always apologized first because he didn’t want his dignity to get in the way of whatever we had. He had cared about me that much.

But the way he died… It was awful. It was one of those slow deaths. The ones where you have to watch the person slowly rot away into something they were not. You could see the life in him slowly disappear. The spark that attracted me in the first place was slowly, but surely fizzling away. His laugh that was once contagious and music to my ears became a raspy croak or a cough even. But you could tell he was trying hard to stay strong. For me, his mom, his sister, his boys even. That kept us going, none of us ever broke down in front of him because we weren’t the sick ones. We weren’t the ones that could die any second. Yet Harry was the strongest of all. Every time he would wake up to me by his bed crying, he would reach his hand over, no matter how painful and hug me, bring me close to his body so I could feel his heartbeat and I could let my tears drop onto his body and explore ever curve, every bump, the way I did our first night. He always made us feel like dying was okay. That he would be off to a better place where we could meet him again and he would be waiting for us.

When the time came we knew it was going to happen. I could slowly feel his body turning cold and lifeless in my hands. “I love you doll, you do know that right? It’s no mystery, I shouted it out loud to all those paparazzi’s on our 5^th date. Remember? You mean so much to me and it hurts me to leave you, but I can’t do anything to slow this down. Take care of me; you know where my body goes after I leave. Take me there, only you. Don’t let anyone else come because it’s just you and me, it’s always been just you and me.” He wished for me to hold him. He wanted me to crawl into bed with me, when it was his time to go. He knew how much pain it would cause me, but he wanted to die happy. He wanted to die in my arms and when his body turned cold. I was strangely calm, the room turned into a blur and I could hear the boys and his family screaming his name, but I sat there, his head on my lap, calm.

Now this is where I stand. It was the words he first whispered to me, when we found out about his body. He asked me to free him at a place we loved, at a place that meant so much to both of us. It was where he had first asked me to be his girlfriend. The top of a mountain at our town, it was a short hike, but the view was beautiful. I looked over the view of our beautiful little town and its reservoir.  “I’ll never forget you” I whispered this to myself and I stuck my hand in his urn and let go a handful of Harry and watched him. He drifted in the wind, away to wherever he was meant to be. He was free and he had made a change in the world, my world. I let a slow tear run down my cheek and I laid my body down slowly to the grass and when I did, I felt Harry next to me. I could feel his strong arms wrapping around me and protecting me and I knew I was going to be okay. As long as I never forgot Harry.  

Listen to this song and read this:

It may be snowing outside but that didn’t matter. This moment was for me and my beautiful wife Hannah. She sways herself in time with me as her white dress falls perfectly, laying itself on the floor behind each step we take together. I hold her close to me. Close enough that I could feel her heartbeat against mine. I look deeply into her glittering eyes as they watch mine realize how blessed I am to be with such an amazing, cute, funny, sometimes clumsy and very beautiful person. Excuse me for saying beautiful too much, Hannah said its becoming a habit but that’s one word that I can use to describe her. Not only beautiful outside but shes also beautiful inside. I knew from the moment I seen her at that day on the beach that I had to spend the rest of my life with her. It felt like it wasn’t a choice. I plucked up the courage to go ask her out. Sadly, she rejected me at first but I followed her, telling her that I must be with her otherwise I would be heartbroken forever. She gave in and I took her on a date the night after. Maybe it was nothing special like going out for dinner or going to a party because people would start recognizing me and I didn’t want us to be crowded or for her to feel uncomfortable. We went on a nice walk on the beach we met at night. I told her about my life and she told me about hers. Our life’s may not be perfect but it was like nothing else mattered, whenever I was with her. Her smile is absolutely beautiful. Her smile makes me smile too. 10 years later we had our first child together, Darcy. I remember she ran in and started jumping on our bed screaming in happiness when she came to tell me. We tried for a baby for a while but that moment, I was in tears. I was so happy. When I came with her to the baby scan, I teared up even more. I used to constantly rub her belly during her pregnancy, she said I was getting a bit obsessed with it, haha! It was that moment when I seen my first child wrapped up all cosy in her little hospital bed that really hit me hard. Is this real life? Her little button nose, her tiny eyes resting, her mouth soft and her cheeks more rosy than ever. She was just as beautiful as Hannah. I couldn’t stop smiling. I always have that photo of Hannah holding Darcy for the first time in my back pocket.  We are one little happy family. We moved out the city not long after so Darcy could grow up in a better environment because with her Dad being in a successful band, it’s tough. We give her everything we can so she can be a happy and free child. Although we are quite strict because we want her to be safe and make sure she makes the best of herself. I love our family SO much but today, today is the day I got married to my beautiful wife. I have gave a lot of tears and the lads have cried a bit with me. I’m now dancing with my life. The most beautiful life in the world. There comes Darcy running along to join in with our dance. Everyone is watching this special moment. Thank you God, thank you for everything you’ve gave me. I’m blessed and I’m grateful. Thank you for giving me a beautiful family, successful career, such caring friends and thank you for making me a good person.

Thank you God, thank you.

Press play before reading.

“Stop it, Niall!”
“Please,” I heard myself say as I grabbed her hand, “Please don’t.”
She stayed still, my breath hitching as I waited for her to reply, “Why?”
Why? “Because, I love you,” I finally said, brushing my thumb against the back of her hand, “I need you.”
“Why are you only saying that now?” she said, barely a whisper.
“I…”
“Why couldn’t you say it when I needed to hear it?” she turned to me, eyes full of anger and frustration as she pushed at my chest, “When I needed to feel it!”
I furrowed my eyebrows and pulled her close, pressing her forehead to mine, “You never told me…”
She smiled warily, “I never knew I had to ask,” she sighed softly and I bit my lip, guilty. “I can’t…Niall, I – ”
“No,” I growled and kissed her. Hard. My hands settled on the small of her back as I tried to take back all that we had lost. Clinging onto the fabric of her shirt, trying to grasp whatever bits and pieces we had left, “I need you, I need you so much.”
She shook her head, “You don’t. I need you more than you need me,” she muttered, her hands balled into fists against my chest.
“That’s not true!” I said, hurt. “I need you more than anything.”
“Are you only saying that to get me from leaving you?”
I remained quiet and she shook her head, “Let me go, Niall…please,” my heart sank as her voice cracked, “Please let me go.”
I stared at her, “Is it because you don’t love me anymore?”
Her eyes widened, “I’ll always love you.”
“Then why – ”
“Because it isn’t enough! Don’t you see, don’t you feel, how much we’re breaking? Not a day goes by without us fighting! Why,” she fell to her knees, her head in her hands “Why can’t I remember a time where we were both smiling? Why can I only remember us fighting?”
I sank to her level and brushed my fingers against her hands, “We just got lost for a bit, please! We’ve gone through nearly two years, we can last another two! We can fix this, I can be better! I’ll be better for you – ”
“Don’t!” I pulled my hand back and she covered her mouth, unable to control her sobs, “I’m so scared, Niall. We fell too fast – I fell too far.”
“You didn’t, you didn’t!”
“We need to let go, we’re only getting worse…” she said through cries, “I need to breathe again.”
I pulled her to my chest, because I couldn’t watch her cry. Also because I didn’t want her to see me cry.
“What happened,” I muttered, “Why did it happen to us?”
“It’s my fault,” she said softly and I shook my head.
“Never,”
She looked up at me, eyes wet and red, “Please, Niall…”
I knew exactly what she meant. “You’re giving up,” I whispered to hide the breaking of my voice, “You can’t, you promised! We promised,” her shoulders shook and I shut my eyes tight, blinking my tears away as I anticipated the words I knew would break us both,
“I’m sorry.”

 

---

Skriven Av: ♥

 

(starts at 0.50) 

Listen to the music as you read.

Reblog if you like it.

Jude felt a sharp pain in her chest and her hand immediately flew up, grabbing hold of the fabric of her shirt softly. Hoping Liam didn’t notice, she quickly put her hand back down on the table, picking up her fork and continuing to eat.

Liam looked at her from across the dinner table.

“Are you okay?” He asked her, worriedly and with wide eyes. 

“Yes, I’m fine Liam.” She said, her mouth full of food. 

She could tell that Liam was not convinced, but he went back to eating and didn’t say another word.

* * * 

Liam and Jude had been best friends for as long as anyone could remember. Jude was by his side when he went on his very first audition when they were fourteen years old, and was still by his side now, five years later. She didn’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon.

Liam and Jude were completely, head over heels and without a doubt in love with each other. They always had been. But see the thing is, they would never admit it. Not to each other, not to anyone, and not even to themselves.

But everyone could see. Everyone could see the way he looked at her and the way she talked about him.

Jude was absolutely beautiful to Liam. Even when they were fourteen years old, he thought she was beautiful.

She was tall, with long toned legs. She had a thick body, but was very toned. She had sun-kissed skin year round. Her hair was long, past her chest. It was brown with caramel highlights throughout it. Usually it got lighter in the summer. She was very natural. She wore a small amount of makeup, and still managed to look great. That’s what Liam liked about her.

He loved how she got along with the rest of the boys, and also the fans. 

The fans loved her, and for the most part they all wanted “Jiam” to happen. But every time it was brought up, her cheeks would get red and she would shy away.

Neither of them understood how much the other cared for them.

* * *

“Jude, you are going to need a heart transplant in order to survive.” The doctor said, gently touching Jude’s leg. She had been her doctor since Jude was a baby  and she had definitely seen her many times in her 18 years of life.

Jude nodded her head acceptingly. She had always known that this would happen. She had always known that one day it would come to this, but she didn’t think it would be so soon. She hadn’t even turned 19 yet.

“How much longer do I have?” Jude said, looking up at the doctor. She couldn’t help the tears from slowly falling on her cheeks.

The doctor took a deep breath, trying to avoid Jude’s eyes.

“Not long.” You could see the sad written on her face. And it wasn’t just the typical sad face of a doctor that had to be sad, it was genuine sadness.

Jude nodded her head and smiled sadly. “Thank you. For everything.”

“Don’t talk like that just yet, Jude. We’re going to find you a donor. It will be tough, but we will do it. We aren’t giving up that quickly.”

* * *

Jude bit her lip, knocking softly on Liam’s hotel room. He had given her a key to it, even though her room was next door. But for some reason, she felt that knocking was necessary. 

She fiddled nervously with her thumbs, and for a moment she almost turned around. But the door opened, and the familiar smile appeared on Liam’s face.

“Jude!” He said, pulling her into a hug. When she was in his arms, it felt that everything would be…alright. She didn’t think about her heart stopping, and she didn’t think about what the next few months or even weeks had in store for her.

Liam went to pull away, but Jude found that she could not let go. Tears began to form in her eyes, dropping like golf balls and staining the white shirt he wore.

“Jude? What’s wrong?” He asked, pulling away slightly and looking into her eyes.

“Liam, I need to talk to you about something.” She said, her lip quivering. 

“What is it?” He said, worried now. Jude hardly ever cried. She was strong.

She took a deep breath and sniffled, wiping her eyes.

“I know we are a few hours from home, but could we drive there? I just..I really need you right now.” 

Without answering, Liam grabbed his keys from the nightstand next to his bed, and without telling anyone the two were out of the hotel and on their way back to Wolverhampton.

* * *

The ride back was silent, for the most part. The sky was a dark shade of grey, and thick summer clouds covered most of it.

“We’re here.” Liam said, pulling into the driveway of his house. The light was on inside and his mothers silhouette at the kitchen table was visible. Jude looked at the house next door, her father’s car in the driveway. She hadn’t been home in a few months, and she felt regret for not spending more time with her family.

“Where do you want to go?” Liam asked her, speaking softly as if she were to break if he spoke any louder.

“I think you know where.” Jude said, looking at him. And he did know. He knew exactly where.

The two got out of the car and made their way through the space between both of their houses. The passed their backyards and went through the opening in the woods. The opening was not originally there, but they had went through it so much that it sort of created itself.

The tree house, that’s where they were going. It was nothing special. It was hardly even a tree house. It was a piece of thick ply-wood that Liam’s father had put there for them when they were younger. But the memories it held was what made it special. The tree that it was on stuck out among the others, and you could see the entire night sky from it.

“What did you need to tell me?” Liam asked once they had got up their, both of their backs leaned up against the trees trunk. Though Jude was looking out at the sky, she could tell that Liam was looking at her.

“Promise you won’t hate me for not telling you.” She said, barely audible and still not looking at him.

“I could never hate you.” He said, just as soft.

She took a deep breath and finally allowed herself to look at him.

“I’m dieing, Li.”  

His face dropped. His breathing deepened.  A nervous breath came from his mouth.

“Wha..what do you mean your ‘dieing’?” He said, emphasis on the last word.

“I mean that my heart is failing. I need a transplant, and I only have a few weeks to find a donor. It’s nearly impossible to find one that quickly.” She was oddly calm. Calmer than she thought she should be.

“What? Jude, what are you talking about? Don’t joke around like that!” He said, his tone rising slightly. She could see the veins in his neck, something that only happened when he was extremely upset.

“This is so sudden though, why now!” He said, sitting up straighter and looking at her. His back was to the moon now.

“It’s actually not Li. My heart has been really bad since I was born. It began failing last year. We thought I would have longer, but I guess I just don’t.” She said, shrugging slightly.

“I just don’t understand.” Liam said. He was crying now, and Jude could tell that his face was hot. He began sobbing. Jude hadn’t seen him cry like this since his grandmother past away when they were in the eighth grade.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He said, looking up at her.

“I just couldn’t..” Jude said, moving closer to him. “It started getting really bad when you started getting big. You were famous now. My best friend who I was so proud of was famous! And I knew that if I told you…it would drag you down. I didn’t want that for you. I didn’t want to be a burden.” She said, holding his hand in hers. It was much larger.

“Why would you ever think that you would be a burden to me? Jude, you mean so much to me. You mean so much more to me than any of this ever could.” Jude knew that he was talking about the fame and stardom. 

“How long?” He said so softly she could barely make out the words. She shook her head.

“I don’t know. Could be a year, a month. Who knows.” She could feel his breathing begin to steady.

“And all you need is a donor?” He said, looking up at her.

“Yup.” She said, resting her head against his. “Let’s just enjoy this night together.”

* * * 

It was a week later when Jude got the call. She was lying down on her couch at her house. She decided to stay there for a while, spend some time with her family. She had no idea how much longer she had to live.

Her phone rang and she recognized the number immediately.

“Dr. McCarthy, Hi.” She said, her heart beating somewhat fast. “What is it?” Her doctor only ever called if she had good news or bad news.

“We did it Jude. We got a donor!” Jude stood up immediately, jumping up and down. She stopped though, forgetting that she had to take it easy.

“Are you serious?” Tears came to her eyes and she squealed, running into her mother’s arms who stood in the kitchen. She didn’t have to say anything in order for her mother to know.

“I need to go tell Liam.” She said, handing the phone to her mother and grabbing her keys, running out the door.

* * *

She drove the four hour ride up to where Liam and the boys were staying still. Though she was driving pretty fast, it felt that she was driving a mile per hour.

When she got to the hotel she ran up to his door, pulling the key he had given her out of her pocket and opening the door.

“Liam? Li?” She said excitedly, looking for him. She found him packing up his stuff and she ran into his arms.

“They found one Li! They found one, I’m going to be okay!” She said, her chest heaving up and down against his.

“Jude. I am so, so happy.” He said, relief coming out of him in the form of a sigh. “I am so happy.” He said, kissing the top of her head.

* * *

“I’m nervous.” Jude said. Liam held her hand as she lay in the hospital bed.

“Don’t be. Everything will work out perfectly.” She nodded, squeezing his hand.

“I love you Jude, alright? Don’t ever forget that.” Jude was surprised to see his chin quivering, and he swallowed hard trying to stop himself from crying.

“Li, why are you crying?”

“I just love you. That’s all.” He said, pulling up one corner of his mouth into a smile. He leaned down and kissed her cheek.

“I have to go now.” Liam said, breathing heavily. “I’ll see you, soon Jude.”

And with that, he was out of her room and out of sight.

* * *

Jude woke up in the same hospital bed. Her head hurt, but for the first time in a long time….she felt good.

Her mother sat in the chair next to her.

“Hi mum.” She said softly. Her mother smiled at her, kissing her cheek.

“Where’s Liam?” It was the first thing that Jude asked. It was the first thing she really cared about.

Her mother looked at her and pulled something out of her purse.

“I need you to read this, okay?” She said, handing her the envelope. Jude looked at her strangely before her mother left the room, leaving Jude alone.

Jude looked at the front of the envelope, recognizing the handwriting immediately.

Dear Jude,

Hello love. How are you doing? How are you feeling? If you are reading this now, I assume you have just gotten out of surgery.

There are a few things I need to tell you.

I know you know that I love you, but I want you to know that I am in love with you. I have been since we were thirteen years old.

You are the most beautiful and sweetest girl I have ever met. 

There is something about you that makes me go crazy. I can’t even describe it.

But we are going to have to be apart for a little while, okay? I need you to be safe without me. I need you to live your life like you should. Because if either of us were to deserve to live our lives, it would be you.

This is hard to say, but I want you to fall in love someday. Find a nice man and settle down with him. Have children and watch your children have children.

I’ll be watching too.

There is one thing I ask of you though. Please don’t ever forget me. Please just keep our memories forever. Cherish them, and never let go of them.

I cannot wait to watch you grow old. It is what I have wanted since I was seven years old, was to watch you grow.

And although I always wanted to grow old with you, watching you grow old from the sidelines will have to do.

Just know this; you will always have a piece of me inside of you. 

I will be inside your heart, until your heart stops beating.

Someday we will be together again.

But that day will just have to wait a little while longer.

I love you Jude. Forever.

Love, Liam.

 

 

You were sleeping on your bed in the morning. Niall sits by the bed and looks at how gorgeous you look when you sleep. He then strokes your face and smiles at the way you wrinkle your face at his touch. He stroke your face again and you slowly move your head to face him. Niall move closer to your face and whispers, “Good morning beautiful. Had a good sleep?” As you slowly open your eyes, you reply him with a smile. As he sees your beautiful smile, Niall’s heart skips a bit and he leans forward to kiss you on the forehead. Chills run through your spine making you wide awake. With a whisper you reply him, “Hey handsome. I’ve had a good sleep. What do you want for your breakfast?” As the ends of his mouth lengthens, he whispers into your ears, “You.” He then place his tender lips on yours and kissed you gently. Breaking away from the kiss, you slowly hide your face in his chest and he hugs you tightly, afraid to leave you. You could feel his heart beat getting harder and you kiss his chest in a belief it would slow down. His fingers slowly run through your hair and tugs a strand behind your ears. You could feel his hot breath on your shoulders. Slowly he hides his face onto your neck and says, “You’re the best thing I’ve ever got. I wish the time froze and we could lie in each others arms all day. My gorgeous princess, I love you and I’m the most luckiest man in the world.”

I hurried out of bed when I heard the crying coming from the baby monitor. Running to the kitchen, I prepared a warm milk bottle for my little girl. Rushing to her room, I quietly opened her door and hovered over the white crib. Within seconds of seeing my face, she stopped crying and started to giggle. I couldn’t help but giggle with her. Picking her up, I led us both to the wooden rocking chair in the corner of the room. Even in the dark I can see her beautiful green orbs for eyes and her glistening white smile. You look so much like her. Tears suddenly begin to form in my eyes as a billion memories came rushing back to me. I suddenly felt a small hand brush my cheek and I look down to see Darcy reaching for my face. 

“You are now my only reason to be here.” 

Oh, Ella, what do I do now. Why’d you have to go and leave us. We miss you too much. It’s been 3 months now. 3 months since she left us. 8 months since the start of her Chemotherapy. The day we found out she had cancer tore my heart. I had no idea what I would do if she left me, left us. She had just given birth to Darcy when suddenly she started getting ill. Upon the many tests, it was finally confirmed. We stayed by her side everyday until that final moment. She died holding Darcy against her chest. Darcy was only 9 months. Even she knew her mother had gone when I tried to lift her and started to fight me. We cried endlessly for the next couple of days. Moments filling my head as Ella’s funeral approached. The moment we met at the park and I looked into her eyes and knew she was the one. The moment I finally had the courage to ask her out and kiss her. The moment the first “I love you” came out of my lips. The moment we first made love. And then the moment she finally said “I do” to becoming mine forever suddenly killed me. We were so happy, dancing together at the reception, caring about nothing and nobody. And when we found out we were expecting, we spent countless hours thinking of the perfect name. When Darcy was born, I’d never been happier in my life, only to have the moment ripped away from me as I saw her body fall to the floor. At the funeral, I remained silent.She’s gone, she’s really gone. I still can’t get my head and my heart to accept it. My heart hurt every second of everyday. Cleaning out her stuff, I noticed CD titled, “To Harry and Darcy”. I popped it in the player and got Darcy to sit with me. The t.v. flashed and I saw her. Her face tired, yet so beautiful. Her hair was all gone, but oh was she still so beautiful. I almost broke down on the spot until I realized I needed to be strong for Darcy. 

“Harry, by now I’m probably gone. I knew I wouldn’t make it, but I still stayed strong for Darcy, for you.” she smiled, “I just wanted to thank you, for everything. For loving me like no one else has. For staying by my side when no one else did. For helping me bring our little angel into this world. I can’t help but think that pretty soon I won’t be here anymore. As much as I want to stay here with you, you have to let me go. Live your life, but still remember you now have a little one to take care of. I may no longer be there by your side, but always remember that I’ll always be watching you, both of you.” she started to cry, “Always remember that I love you, and being your wife and mother to Darcy was the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you, forever and always.” 

With that the screen went black.

I was suddenly snapped back to reality when Darcy made an unfamiliar sound. 

“Da-a-dy,” she tried to muster. 

I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of her first word finally being heard. I clutched her tight. “That’s right, Daddy’s here and I promise I won’t ever leave you.” I kissed her forehead as I started to become more comfortable in the chair.I’m going to get through this, with you Darcy. I stared at her beautiful face one more time. My eyes and her smile. Perfect. We made such a beautiful angel, Ella. I promise to take care of her always. But always know that you are our original angel. We love you. 

---

-Maddy-

 

Listen to this song and read this:

Sadly, my husband Niall Horan passed away just a month ago and I’m barely coping. I’m 86 and re-living the life without him here. I grew up with him, he was always my best friend and we become a couple at the age of 16, we both ran off to London together where Niall became a famous singer in a band called One Direction. They became so famous and successful. I’m so proud of my loved man. Last night I went through his things, I found his suit that he wore that night his band won a Brit, I’m so proud. I lay it on the bed and smelled it. It was like he was there, watching me cry my heart out. I didn’t cry loud because our grown up children are here for Christmas, the first Christmas without him. We haven’t even told our Grandchildren what happened, I don’t know how to tell them. Niall passed away with one of his friends called Harry from a terrible car crash caused by some lunatic teenagers thinking they can do what they want. Drink driving is no laughing matter. I found a book in the box under our bed. It was a scrapbook. On the front page there was a picture of the first day I met him. We were just children. I opened the book to find many, many pictures of us together. He talked about everything, even his virginity, made me smile. There’s pictures of our first house together, our children and generally everything he did. It was the scrapbook of his life. Everytime I turned a page, a tear fell onto each one. When it came to the last page, there was a letter. 

“To my dearest love,

If you find this then that means I didn’t make it. I know I might leave you in a terrible way but I just want you to know that I will always love you and whatever we have and did together. Our arguments, we were stupid and young. I wasn’t stupid enough to let you go. We got through it together. Our parents didn’t approve of each other but look what we achieved. When I leave, I’ll watch you. I’ll be the angel at your footsteps. Please do not cry, you know I never like seeing you cry. When you cry, I cry. Look after everyone for me. Don’t do anything silly just because I’m physically not there with you but I am in your heart. I love you so much.

Love from Niall.

Aged 16”

“This is my favourite song” I squealed as ‘Stand Up’ by One Direction came on the sound system. I quickly stood up, wanting to dance, holding my hand out for Zayn to grab. 
“Baby, I can’t dance” He sighed, knowing that he was letting me down.  
“Okay” I sulked and walked off to the ‘dance floor’ on my own to dance. We were at one of Zayn’s friends house party, I didn’t really know anyone as Zayn and I had only been dating for about a month, and I wouldn’t change this month for the world. 
After a few minutes of dancing, I glanced up to where Zayn was sitting, but he wasn’t there anymore. I started to look around the crowded room, trying to spot my handsome boyfriend. I caught a glimpse of his perfect black hair, styled into a quiff. He was heading out of the house towards the back garden.  
After a few moments hesitating, I decided to go after him to see if he was okay. 
“What’s the matter?” I asked, approaching him as he sat down on a wooden bench. 
“Nothing” He quickly replied, hiding his feelings. 
“Babe, tell me” I smiled, taking a seat next to him. 
“I can’t dance, and I know that you love to dance. It makes me feel like a rubbish boyfriend and I feel like I have let you down tonight!” He replied, speaking fast. 
It took a moment for it all to sink in before I replied “You haven’t let me down, and you are THE best boyfriend. I am so lucky to have you, even if you can’t dance” 
“Teach me” He turned to face me, looking into my eyes. 
“What?” I asked, confused at his beaming smile. 
“Teach me how to dance” He brushed his hand through my curled hair before resting it lightly on my cheek. 
In the background I could hear a slow song starting to play, what perfect timing I thought to myself. 
“Alright, let’s do it” I stood up, taking Zayn’s hand in mine and pulling him up with me. 
I started walking back to the house, when I felt Zayn pulling me back. 
“Let’s do it out here babe, I’ll just be an embarrassment in there” I hated how much he put himself down. 
“Okay” I sighed, walking into the middle off the garden.
“Right, how do we start?” Zayn laughed awkwardly. 
“Well Malik, firstly put your hands on my waist” He obeyed my instruction on placed his hands on my waist making my heart stutter. 
“What’s next?” He asked as I put my arms around his neck.
“Just sway really, there isn’t much too slow dancing” I laughed as Zayn started swaying from side to side. “You’ve got it babe” I joined him with the swaying. 
A smiled grew on his face, showing me that he was enjoying this moment with me. 
“I think I’m a better dancing than you Alexis” Zayn winked, pulling me closer to him. 
I showed him my best shocked and hurt face but all it did was make him laugh, “You’re mean” I ended up saying. 
“Oh baby, you know I love you” my heart felt like it stopped as he said this. It was the first time he had said it in our relationship. 
“I…I… I love you too” I managed to say as I got over the shock. Because I did, I loved him with all my heart. 
Zayn leant forward and pressed his soft moist lips against, making my knee’s go weak. Who cares if he couldn’t dance, he made up for it with his kissing.