Rachelsnoveller

“Megi, please stop, please stop reading those.” I struggled to read the tweets through tears, until finally Louis pulled the phone away from me. “They mean nothing, absolutely nothing, forget about it all please?” What was I supposed to say, what could I say to him, a simple “ok” sufficed at the moment, but he didn’t look thrilled with my answer. How could I put stuff like that aside? I’d like to say words don’t hurt, but they do.

“Babe, would you like to come to the studio with me? It’ll only be for a little while and then we could go out for some lunch?” Louis was so kind to me and he was so gentle with my insecurities. It was hard for me to even understand how I bagged a lad like him. I wasn’t always like this either, I loved to hang out with my friends, and play football with the guys. Lately hateful sayings have been coming out of the woodwork, left and right taking slow hits to my self-esteem. “No, I’m alright.” I think I’m going to take a shower and clean up your mess, mister” I couldn’t help but laugh at his face. “My mess, my mess? Oh really well who had late night McDonalds hm?” I couldn’t contain my laughter shouting out, “you did you fool!” He pulled me into a tight embraced and placed his lips on my forehead. This was home for me, and there’s no place I’d rather be then here.  “I’ve got to go now love, I’m already going to be late. I love you, and please stay safe you klutz.” “Love you too boo-bear” I shot back with a wink and he was out the door.

Throwing up my hair in a messy bun after the shower and changing into one of Lou’s baggy sweatshirts was the most comfortable feeling ever. I really had nothing else to do after straightening up the flat. I grabbed my cell and layed on the couch occupying myself with twitter as usual. I thought, “I shouldn’t, Megi you’ll regret this” but I just had to. “Dumb whore doesn’t deserve him. She’s honestly ruining the band why won’t he just break up with her. I hate her. I hope Lou cheats on that skank.” Words tore through my brain and ripped my heart open and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I stood up off the couch and screamed. I just screamed at the top of my lungs and let it all out.

“He doesn’t deserve me” I let out in a faint whisper. “I’ve ruined everything.” Not sure what to do next or where to go, Louis answered it for me.

The door swung open and hit the wall with a crack. “What was that scream? Are you alright babe? Are you hurt?” Too many questions asked at once and I was at my breaking point, “I’m sorryLou.” He glanced over to the couch and saw the phone lying on the table vibrating, never ending, never stopping, just relentless. He came over and grabbed my shoulders a little more rough than usual and never lost contact with my eyes.

“Listen to me, right now, nothing else. Don’t count yourself out Megi and sell yourself short. You’re amazing. You’re everything to me and I wouldn’t change a thing about you. The way my sweatshirt hangs of your 5’3 body is probably the sexiest I’ve ever seen you. Things aren’t easy, they’re never going to be easy, but it’s worth it, you’re worth it. Someday I’m going to make you the happiest bride and we’re going to show them all. All of them that they didn’t matter because all that mattered was we had each other. That’s what’s important right now, I have you and you have me,forever.

I was breathless, speechless, and my face emotionless. I shrugged out of his grip and he looked quite upset at first as I started to walk away until he realized with a cheeky grin. I picked up my phone and walked to the trash and let it drop. It was a pivotal point in life for me. I wasn’t going to care what anyone else thought of me, just Lou because that’s all that mattered. Our happiness was the most important. There was actually nothing wrong with me, our love shined every day and people were just jealous. And you know what people say, “People throw rocks at things that shine.”

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