Hallelujah- Liam Payne
(starts at 0.50)
Listen to the music as you read.
Reblog if you like it.
Jude felt a sharp pain in her chest and her hand immediately flew up, grabbing hold of the fabric of her shirt softly. Hoping Liam didn’t notice, she quickly put her hand back down on the table, picking up her fork and continuing to eat.
Liam looked at her from across the dinner table.
“Are you okay?” He asked her, worriedly and with wide eyes.
“Yes, I’m fine Liam.” She said, her mouth full of food.
She could tell that Liam was not convinced, but he went back to eating and didn’t say another word.
* * *
Liam and Jude had been best friends for as long as anyone could remember. Jude was by his side when he went on his very first audition when they were fourteen years old, and was still by his side now, five years later. She didn’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon.
Liam and Jude were completely, head over heels and without a doubt in love with each other. They always had been. But see the thing is, they would never admit it. Not to each other, not to anyone, and not even to themselves.
But everyone could see. Everyone could see the way he looked at her and the way she talked about him.
Jude was absolutely beautiful to Liam. Even when they were fourteen years old, he thought she was beautiful.
She was tall, with long toned legs. She had a thick body, but was very toned. She had sun-kissed skin year round. Her hair was long, past her chest. It was brown with caramel highlights throughout it. Usually it got lighter in the summer. She was very natural. She wore a small amount of makeup, and still managed to look great. That’s what Liam liked about her.
He loved how she got along with the rest of the boys, and also the fans.
The fans loved her, and for the most part they all wanted “Jiam” to happen. But every time it was brought up, her cheeks would get red and she would shy away.
Neither of them understood how much the other cared for them.
* * *
“Jude, you are going to need a heart transplant in order to survive.” The doctor said, gently touching Jude’s leg. She had been her doctor since Jude was a baby and she had definitely seen her many times in her 18 years of life.
Jude nodded her head acceptingly. She had always known that this would happen. She had always known that one day it would come to this, but she didn’t think it would be so soon. She hadn’t even turned 19 yet.
“How much longer do I have?” Jude said, looking up at the doctor. She couldn’t help the tears from slowly falling on her cheeks.
The doctor took a deep breath, trying to avoid Jude’s eyes.
“Not long.” You could see the sad written on her face. And it wasn’t just the typical sad face of a doctor that had to be sad, it was genuine sadness.
Jude nodded her head and smiled sadly. “Thank you. For everything.”
“Don’t talk like that just yet, Jude. We’re going to find you a donor. It will be tough, but we will do it. We aren’t giving up that quickly.”
* * *
Jude bit her lip, knocking softly on Liam’s hotel room. He had given her a key to it, even though her room was next door. But for some reason, she felt that knocking was necessary.
She fiddled nervously with her thumbs, and for a moment she almost turned around. But the door opened, and the familiar smile appeared on Liam’s face.
“Jude!” He said, pulling her into a hug. When she was in his arms, it felt that everything would be…alright. She didn’t think about her heart stopping, and she didn’t think about what the next few months or even weeks had in store for her.
Liam went to pull away, but Jude found that she could not let go. Tears began to form in her eyes, dropping like golf balls and staining the white shirt he wore.
“Jude? What’s wrong?” He asked, pulling away slightly and looking into her eyes.
“Liam, I need to talk to you about something.” She said, her lip quivering.
“What is it?” He said, worried now. Jude hardly ever cried. She was strong.
She took a deep breath and sniffled, wiping her eyes.
“I know we are a few hours from home, but could we drive there? I just..I really need you right now.”
Without answering, Liam grabbed his keys from the nightstand next to his bed, and without telling anyone the two were out of the hotel and on their way back to Wolverhampton.
* * *
The ride back was silent, for the most part. The sky was a dark shade of grey, and thick summer clouds covered most of it.
“We’re here.” Liam said, pulling into the driveway of his house. The light was on inside and his mothers silhouette at the kitchen table was visible. Jude looked at the house next door, her father’s car in the driveway. She hadn’t been home in a few months, and she felt regret for not spending more time with her family.
“Where do you want to go?” Liam asked her, speaking softly as if she were to break if he spoke any louder.
“I think you know where.” Jude said, looking at him. And he did know. He knew exactly where.
The two got out of the car and made their way through the space between both of their houses. The passed their backyards and went through the opening in the woods. The opening was not originally there, but they had went through it so much that it sort of created itself.
The tree house, that’s where they were going. It was nothing special. It was hardly even a tree house. It was a piece of thick ply-wood that Liam’s father had put there for them when they were younger. But the memories it held was what made it special. The tree that it was on stuck out among the others, and you could see the entire night sky from it.
“What did you need to tell me?” Liam asked once they had got up their, both of their backs leaned up against the trees trunk. Though Jude was looking out at the sky, she could tell that Liam was looking at her.
“Promise you won’t hate me for not telling you.” She said, barely audible and still not looking at him.
“I could never hate you.” He said, just as soft.
She took a deep breath and finally allowed herself to look at him.
“I’m dieing, Li.”
His face dropped. His breathing deepened. A nervous breath came from his mouth.
“Wha..what do you mean your ‘dieing’?” He said, emphasis on the last word.
“I mean that my heart is failing. I need a transplant, and I only have a few weeks to find a donor. It’s nearly impossible to find one that quickly.” She was oddly calm. Calmer than she thought she should be.
“What? Jude, what are you talking about? Don’t joke around like that!” He said, his tone rising slightly. She could see the veins in his neck, something that only happened when he was extremely upset.
“This is so sudden though, why now!” He said, sitting up straighter and looking at her. His back was to the moon now.
“It’s actually not Li. My heart has been really bad since I was born. It began failing last year. We thought I would have longer, but I guess I just don’t.” She said, shrugging slightly.
“I just don’t understand.” Liam said. He was crying now, and Jude could tell that his face was hot. He began sobbing. Jude hadn’t seen him cry like this since his grandmother past away when they were in the eighth grade.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He said, looking up at her.
“I just couldn’t..” Jude said, moving closer to him. “It started getting really bad when you started getting big. You were famous now. My best friend who I was so proud of was famous! And I knew that if I told you…it would drag you down. I didn’t want that for you. I didn’t want to be a burden.” She said, holding his hand in hers. It was much larger.
“Why would you ever think that you would be a burden to me? Jude, you mean so much to me. You mean so much more to me than any of this ever could.” Jude knew that he was talking about the fame and stardom.
“How long?” He said so softly she could barely make out the words. She shook her head.
“I don’t know. Could be a year, a month. Who knows.” She could feel his breathing begin to steady.
“And all you need is a donor?” He said, looking up at her.
“Yup.” She said, resting her head against his. “Let’s just enjoy this night together.”
* * *
It was a week later when Jude got the call. She was lying down on her couch at her house. She decided to stay there for a while, spend some time with her family. She had no idea how much longer she had to live.
Her phone rang and she recognized the number immediately.
“Dr. McCarthy, Hi.” She said, her heart beating somewhat fast. “What is it?” Her doctor only ever called if she had good news or bad news.
“We did it Jude. We got a donor!” Jude stood up immediately, jumping up and down. She stopped though, forgetting that she had to take it easy.
“Are you serious?” Tears came to her eyes and she squealed, running into her mother’s arms who stood in the kitchen. She didn’t have to say anything in order for her mother to know.
“I need to go tell Liam.” She said, handing the phone to her mother and grabbing her keys, running out the door.
* * *
She drove the four hour ride up to where Liam and the boys were staying still. Though she was driving pretty fast, it felt that she was driving a mile per hour.
When she got to the hotel she ran up to his door, pulling the key he had given her out of her pocket and opening the door.
“Liam? Li?” She said excitedly, looking for him. She found him packing up his stuff and she ran into his arms.
“They found one Li! They found one, I’m going to be okay!” She said, her chest heaving up and down against his.
“Jude. I am so, so happy.” He said, relief coming out of him in the form of a sigh. “I am so happy.” He said, kissing the top of her head.
* * *
“I’m nervous.” Jude said. Liam held her hand as she lay in the hospital bed.
“Don’t be. Everything will work out perfectly.” She nodded, squeezing his hand.
“I love you Jude, alright? Don’t ever forget that.” Jude was surprised to see his chin quivering, and he swallowed hard trying to stop himself from crying.
“Li, why are you crying?”
“I just love you. That’s all.” He said, pulling up one corner of his mouth into a smile. He leaned down and kissed her cheek.
“I have to go now.” Liam said, breathing heavily. “I’ll see you, soon Jude.”
And with that, he was out of her room and out of sight.
* * *
Jude woke up in the same hospital bed. Her head hurt, but for the first time in a long time….she felt good.
Her mother sat in the chair next to her.
“Hi mum.” She said softly. Her mother smiled at her, kissing her cheek.
“Where’s Liam?” It was the first thing that Jude asked. It was the first thing she really cared about.
Her mother looked at her and pulled something out of her purse.
“I need you to read this, okay?” She said, handing her the envelope. Jude looked at her strangely before her mother left the room, leaving Jude alone.
Jude looked at the front of the envelope, recognizing the handwriting immediately.
Dear Jude,
Hello love. How are you doing? How are you feeling? If you are reading this now, I assume you have just gotten out of surgery.
There are a few things I need to tell you.
I know you know that I love you, but I want you to know that I am in love with you. I have been since we were thirteen years old.
You are the most beautiful and sweetest girl I have ever met.
There is something about you that makes me go crazy. I can’t even describe it.
But we are going to have to be apart for a little while, okay? I need you to be safe without me. I need you to live your life like you should. Because if either of us were to deserve to live our lives, it would be you.
This is hard to say, but I want you to fall in love someday. Find a nice man and settle down with him. Have children and watch your children have children.
I’ll be watching too.
There is one thing I ask of you though. Please don’t ever forget me. Please just keep our memories forever. Cherish them, and never let go of them.
I cannot wait to watch you grow old. It is what I have wanted since I was seven years old, was to watch you grow.
And although I always wanted to grow old with you, watching you grow old from the sidelines will have to do.
Just know this; you will always have a piece of me inside of you.
I will be inside your heart, until your heart stops beating.
Someday we will be together again.
But that day will just have to wait a little while longer.
I love you Jude. Forever.
Love, Liam.