Rachelsnoveller

I hurried out of bed when I heard the crying coming from the baby monitor. Running to the kitchen, I prepared a warm milk bottle for my little girl. Rushing to her room, I quietly opened her door and hovered over the white crib. Within seconds of seeing my face, she stopped crying and started to giggle. I couldn’t help but giggle with her. Picking her up, I led us both to the wooden rocking chair in the corner of the room. Even in the dark I can see her beautiful green orbs for eyes and her glistening white smile. You look so much like her. Tears suddenly begin to form in my eyes as a billion memories came rushing back to me. I suddenly felt a small hand brush my cheek and I look down to see Darcy reaching for my face. 

“You are now my only reason to be here.” 

Oh, Ella, what do I do now. Why’d you have to go and leave us. We miss you too much. It’s been 3 months now. 3 months since she left us. 8 months since the start of her Chemotherapy. The day we found out she had cancer tore my heart. I had no idea what I would do if she left me, left us. She had just given birth to Darcy when suddenly she started getting ill. Upon the many tests, it was finally confirmed. We stayed by her side everyday until that final moment. She died holding Darcy against her chest. Darcy was only 9 months. Even she knew her mother had gone when I tried to lift her and started to fight me. We cried endlessly for the next couple of days. Moments filling my head as Ella’s funeral approached. The moment we met at the park and I looked into her eyes and knew she was the one. The moment I finally had the courage to ask her out and kiss her. The moment the first “I love you” came out of my lips. The moment we first made love. And then the moment she finally said “I do” to becoming mine forever suddenly killed me. We were so happy, dancing together at the reception, caring about nothing and nobody. And when we found out we were expecting, we spent countless hours thinking of the perfect name. When Darcy was born, I’d never been happier in my life, only to have the moment ripped away from me as I saw her body fall to the floor. At the funeral, I remained silent.She’s gone, she’s really gone. I still can’t get my head and my heart to accept it. My heart hurt every second of everyday. Cleaning out her stuff, I noticed CD titled, “To Harry and Darcy”. I popped it in the player and got Darcy to sit with me. The t.v. flashed and I saw her. Her face tired, yet so beautiful. Her hair was all gone, but oh was she still so beautiful. I almost broke down on the spot until I realized I needed to be strong for Darcy. 

“Harry, by now I’m probably gone. I knew I wouldn’t make it, but I still stayed strong for Darcy, for you.” she smiled, “I just wanted to thank you, for everything. For loving me like no one else has. For staying by my side when no one else did. For helping me bring our little angel into this world. I can’t help but think that pretty soon I won’t be here anymore. As much as I want to stay here with you, you have to let me go. Live your life, but still remember you now have a little one to take care of. I may no longer be there by your side, but always remember that I’ll always be watching you, both of you.” she started to cry, “Always remember that I love you, and being your wife and mother to Darcy was the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you, forever and always.” 

With that the screen went black.

I was suddenly snapped back to reality when Darcy made an unfamiliar sound. 

“Da-a-dy,” she tried to muster. 

I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of her first word finally being heard. I clutched her tight. “That’s right, Daddy’s here and I promise I won’t ever leave you.” I kissed her forehead as I started to become more comfortable in the chair.I’m going to get through this, with you Darcy. I stared at her beautiful face one more time. My eyes and her smile. Perfect. We made such a beautiful angel, Ella. I promise to take care of her always. But always know that you are our original angel. We love you.